A Crown or Rottenness: Insights from Esther

Good morning everyone! A particular proverb today made me pause and wonder: Proverbs 12:4 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones."

It makes you think, doesn't it? What specific qualities or behaviours define an 'excellent wife' who becomes a 'crown'? And conversely, what leads to the 'rottenness in his bones'?

The clue, I believe, lies in that image of a 'crown'. Where in Scripture can we find an example of a wife, or even two wives, directly associated with a crown, one bringing shame and the other excellence?

Vashti: The Queen Who Caused Shame

I think the book of Esther gives us such a clear and precise comparison. In Esther 1, we meet Queen Vashti. The king commands her to appear before him, in front of all the important people of the realm, wearing her royal crown. And what does she do? She refuses! Esther 1:12 tells us, "Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command brought by his eunuchs; therefore the king was furious and his anger burned within him."

Imagine the king's shame! He's sitting there with his most esteemed guests, and his own queen, the one who should embody his honour, directly disobeys him. This act, refusing to obey a direct command, certainly causes shame. She embodies the 'rottenness in his bones' metaphor perfectly, despite literally wearing a crown. Esther 1:11 explicitly mentions this: "...to bring Queen Vashti before the king wearing her royal crown in order to show her beauty to the people and the officials, for she was beautiful to behold."

Her crown, of course, is eventually taken from her.

Esther: The Excellent Wife and True Crown

Then, in Esther 2, we're introduced to Esther, who becomes Vashti's replacement. The Scripture tells us in Esther 2:17, "The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins; so he set the royal crown upon her head and made her queen instead of Vashti."

Here we have it: two queens, both wearers of a crown. One brings shame and fury to the king, while the other brings joy and becomes his true 'crown'. Esther, as we know, goes on to save her entire people, the Jews, and through her wisdom, grace, and excellence, she truly is the crowning joy of the king.

The Key Difference: Obedience

So, what's the specific point this proverb is making, especially when we look at Vashti and Esther? It seems to me that an excellent wife is more like Esther than Vashti. And the specific difference between these two women? Vashti directly disobeyed the king's command, her husband's command. Esther, on the other hand, is presented as someone who was obedient.

Even before she became queen, while in Mordecai's care, Esther 2:20 says, "Now Esther had not revealed her family and her people, just as Mordecai had charged her; for Esther obeyed the command of Mordecai as when she was brought up by him."

In this particular wording, Esther is shown to be the exact opposite of Vashti. It's through her obedience, I believe, that this proverb finds its fulfilment. Her willingness to submit to authority, even when it wasn't the king's direct command but Mordecai's, sets her apart.

And of course, this principle of obedience isn't just for wives; it's a pattern for all of us in our walk with God. Our obedience to His will and His commandments, and indeed, our submission to one another, preferring our brothers and sisters above ourselves, is a pathway to being a 'crown' in the lives of those around us and, most importantly, in the eyes of God.